Hey There!

I'm Kathy.

Hospice & palliative care doctor
Certified life coach & hypnotist
Writer & Entrepreneur
TEDx Speaker

and human being, being HUMAN

Like you, I wear a lot of hats.

And like you, there’s more to me than what I do. I’m a Brooklyn-
raised, straight-talking, people-loving introvert who wears my heart on my sleeve and will undoubtedly cry if you show me a really touching life insurance commercial or lost dogs reuniting with their owners.

It all started from a desire
to truly understand people…

You may know me as someone who cares for sick and dying folks, but growing up, I actually wanted to be a psychologist. Or an actor

In hindsight, it makes total sense. I’ve always been obsessed with humans—their stories, personalities, what makes them tick, what gets them out of bed in the morning, why they do what they do

No seriously, my AIM (AOL instant messaging for you youngsters out there) screename was Shrink369

Even as a kid riding the subway, I’d look at people and make up convoluted backstories about them in my head, wondering what drove people to be who they were. Why that outfit choice? Why the furrowed brow, the exasperated sigh or that toothy smile?

Add that to the fact that I was a first generation Chinese immigrant growing up in NYC and you can probably guess I was a stereotypically shy, nerdy, high-achieving gal with self-esteem issues who was bullied. A LOT. My parents told me “just work hard and ignore them (and become a doctor because that’s the only way to be successful)”. So I did.

Sound

Familiar?

So I figured the answer was to work harder.

And while I enjoyed my work, I always felt like there was something missing. There was an urge to write, to create, to dive into the deep end of the pool with people, skip the small talk and get to the heart of what really matters. I felt more like a mechanic doing patch up jobs in the hospital and putting out fires rather than addressing the real issues with my patients. That is, until I discovered hospice and palliative care

Prior to that, I had never really understood others who described medicine as a calling. I do now. To me, this work is why I wanted to become a doctor in the first place. To comfort those who need it, ease suffering, to show up for others when it matters most. To sit in discomfort and bear witness to the full spectrum of humanity—amplified exponentially by the looming threat of death.

It still astounds me that I get to sit for 30, 60, 90 minutes with patients and families. They tell me their hopes, their fears, their favorite dish to cook, how they got their nicknames and which grandchild is their favorite. They show me family vacation photos and videos of everyday moments to remind me that the dying person on the hospital bed was once so much more than what we see now. They share their regrets, their proudest moments, and how they would have lived differently if they had a second chance.

And that’s when everything changed

6 months after starting my dream job, the pandemic hit. It was as if the universe said “oh, you like caring for seriously and terminally ill people? Hold my beer”

I found myself in such a deep, dark mental hole there were days I didn’t think I’d ever get out. There were days I wasn’t even sure I wanted to.

So I sought help from a trauma therapist who I credit with saving my life. Therapy got me from a deep hole back to my normal self and then coaching got me to see what was possible for my future

Full disclosure, I had zero intentions of becoming a coach or a hypnotist. But I knew that if I wanted to share the lessons of the dying and help people use those insights to change their own lives, I had to find the best and fastest way to do so

If caring for the dying has taught me anything, it’s that life is unpredictable.

My work days are spent relieving patient suffering and improving the quality of the remainder of their lives. And as I listened to regret after deathbed regret, what I heard over and over again was “I wish I had known sooner.” So little by little, I started talking more about death, to bring these powerful end of life insights upstream—20, 30, 40 years earlier, before anyone became terminal. To help people live the life they TRULY want —and to become the person they most want to be — before it’s too late.

There’s nothing more beautiful to me than being BLINDED by the powerful light of someone in total alignment with themselves and their purpose. Of someone who is doing the work of healing and growing and is fully embracing their own journey.

The next most beautiful moment is when that person turns around to lend a helping hand to someone in need.

Because as soon as I felt really great about who I was and where I was going, all I wanted to do was to bottle up the “secret sauce” and put it in tap water so everyone else could feel the same. Hint: it’s not really a secret, it’s just hidden in plain sight.

It’s what’s helped me to launch my podcast, invest in real estate, start my coaching business, write articles for major publications, deliver a TEDx talk and feel SO aligned with my purpose, why I was put on this earth and who I really am at my core.

Which brings us to today. On paper, it probably seems disjointed and nonsensical: a hospice and palliative care doctor who talks about death and dying but also uses science-based tools to help people rewire their brains, regulate their nervous systems and in turn, change their lives so they arrive at their deathbeds with peace, not regret.

But then again, in hindsight, it makes total sense.

I’m so glad you’re here. Thank you

Now let’s explore this one wild and precious life of ours, shall we?

Heck yeah, let's go!